I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
