Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
