Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
