Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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