4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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