So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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