i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
