problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
