He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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