they need to just BURY HIM!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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