i would punch a child for taco bell
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
