youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
