i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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