Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
