spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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