I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
