apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
