God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
