The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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