if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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