after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk is not a location!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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