I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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