If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
