You made me cry and you don't even care
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
