Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
