There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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