I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
