i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
