i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
