Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
