We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
