well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
