Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
