We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
