$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
