Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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