Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
