I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think i have two assholes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
