what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
