Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
