..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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