so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
