I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
