Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
