i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My penis needs a shock collar
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
