Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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