Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it glows. i had to have it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
