You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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