Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
