I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
