My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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