Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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